Dryad Tea Presents:
Tea Duelling 101
|First: Select your favourite tea. Loose leaf tea is encouraged (Especially Dryad Tea) but we will not mock you (too much) for opting for bagged tea.|
|Gather your supplies. Necessary supplies include: Tea pot, Two Cups, known as Kegs (extra points for saucers, matching or otherwise) and Biscuits (American Tea Duelling Rules strongly suggest use of Pepperidge Farm Chessmen.)|
|While non-standard Kegs may be allowed under certain "House Rules" the pair of Kegs must maintain similar volume and depth. Even though the depth may seem similar, if a Keg is Bigger on the Inside, it shall be (sadly) disallowed.|
|Kegs may, however, be made of differing material, provided reasonable consistency in size and volume is maintained.|
|The preparation of the Martial Brew is done by the Pot Master. Likewise, the overseeing of the Duel itself is done by the Tiffin Master. For reasons of time and personnel, these duties may reside with the same person.|
|We now await the readiness of the Martial Brew. |
Today we are using the "Rubiee" blend, kindly supplied by our host and sponsor, Dryad Tea.
|Removal of the tea dregs, for presentation of the Martial Brew.|
|Presentation of the Weapons. |
Six biscuits on a charger. No more. No less.
The number thou shalt have is six. Eight is WAY out.
|Preparation by the Duellists of their Martial Brew. |
Tails not required, but encouraged.
|Choose your destiny. Each Duellist selects one biscuit. Once you touch a biscuit, you must use it. |
No give-backs. That's just icky.
|Upon the count of three (No more, no less) as issued by the Tiffin Master, Dunk your weapon into your Martial Brew for the count of five.|
|And now, we wait...|
(Read further for acceptable -and not- behaviour during the waiting.)
|The waiting is done, and the biscuit is Snarfed. This is known as a Nom.|
|In order to be declared the victor, you must be the last duellist to CLEANLY Nom your biscuit.|
Devilish Duelling Details
The Many Ways the Cookie Crumbles
|During a duel, sometimes tough choices need to be made.|
To Nom or Wait to Nom. That is the Question.
|Weather 'tis nobler in the mind, to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous messiness...|
|Or by Nomming, end them.|
|Should you be forced by circumstance into a Dirty Nom, when your biscuit is more on your face and/or person, rather than in your mouth...|
|Oh the HUMANITY!|
|BUT! All is not lost.|
While you may still be defeated by a Clean Nom, a Dirty Nom is still far superior to the following Biscuit Offences:
|The Splash - Whereupon the Biscuit falls into your Keg of Martial Brew.|
|The Splatter - When the table catches your fallen Biscuit.|
Note your opponents look of disdain.
When Tea Duelling Goes Bad
The seedy underbelly of the Tea Duelling world
|There shall be no physical interference or tampering with the weapon of your opponent.|
Keep your hands and spoons to yourself.
Don't make me tell your mother.
|Utilising ballistic projectiles is a strictly prohibited practise.|
|Intimidation of your opponent is most assuredly permitted, provided that no projectiles are ACTUALLY utilised.|
|...And poor behaviours are considered high offences against good manners, and are the final word in Bad Form.|
A Note On Coffee and Other Beverages
But Mostly Coffee
|With the offending beverage removed, the duelling may now commence...|